We speak of being sucked in, as if need had not propelled us. As if we might still croon the litany of birthdate social security mother's maiden name and recollect the particles we pressed into shape and service crammed into our shoes.
But this rearrangement is profound, this condition infinite density. Nothing escapes, not even light. This gravity takes us like a death squad from the borders of sunlit plots. Somos desaparecidos. We are disappeared.
They find our hoes, rakes, rusted rifles, the gleaming blades of identity we thought would hack our way home.
They sound alarms, call a curfew, comb the places they knew us to haunt. They seek evidence of our indivisible natures in shopping lists, laundry tags, in hearsay reports of our dreams.
Night falls. They are exhausted. They gather by fires in a long, bewildered silence.
Finally, someone mutters "fell in love." In dark rooms redolent of the usual suppers, tobacco ashes glow and bob in helpless agreement.
They give it up, let it go. They let their daughters use the phone again.
Joel Deutsch is a writer living in Los Angeles. His literary non-fiction and novel in progress can be read at www.joeldeutsch.net