Everyone wishes to be loved, but in the
event, nearly no one can bear it. Everyone
desires love but also finds it impossible to
believe that he deserves it. However great
the private disasters to which love may lead,
love itself is strikingly and mysteriously
impersonal; it is a reality which is not altered
by anything one does. Therefore, one does
many things, turns the key in the lock over
and over again, hoping to be locked out.
Once locked out, one will never again be
forced to encounter in the eyes of a
stranger who loves him the impenetrable
truth concerning the stranger, oneself, who
is loved. And yet--one would prefer, after
all, not to be locked out. One would prefer,
merely, that the key unlocked a less
stunningly unusual door.
event, nearly no one can bear it. Everyone
desires love but also finds it impossible to
believe that he deserves it. However great
the private disasters to which love may lead,
love itself is strikingly and mysteriously
impersonal; it is a reality which is not altered
by anything one does. Therefore, one does
many things, turns the key in the lock over
and over again, hoping to be locked out.
Once locked out, one will never again be
forced to encounter in the eyes of a
stranger who loves him the impenetrable
truth concerning the stranger, oneself, who
is loved. And yet--one would prefer, after
all, not to be locked out. One would prefer,
merely, that the key unlocked a less
stunningly unusual door.
James Baldwin
Alcoholic, died of stomach cancer at 63
Alcoholic, died of stomach cancer at 63